As some of you may know, I live in the heart of the city of Vancouver, amongst the high-rises, the traffic and of course the many people. Now, some of you may feel sorry for me, while others may be envious. However, the general question that seems to come up when we talk and compare where we live, is; how do I cope with the homeless and the drug addicted, the busyness, and of course the cost. Suffice it to say that most, if not all of my friends, live in the suburbs as even do my two adult children. For the record in my lifetime I have lived in big cities, in the country, and in small towns and villages and in several Provinces across the country, so I feel that I have some qualifications as to the pros and cons of where one lives.
And, clearly there are pros and cons. In the city I do not worry about commuting, the weather, or shovelling the driveway. The restaurants, the theatres and the stadiums are all within walking distance. In fact I may only drive my car once a week. I don’t shop at any of the big box stores, or in malls, but I have an e-bike and I walk around a lot. I also ride the Skytrain a fair amount and getting to the airport is a mere short subway train ride. The trade-off as my suburban friends are quick to point out, is that I live in a small space, pay exorbitant rent, can’t bbq, can’t smoke in my house (but I don’t smoke anyway), and can’t lean over my fence and speak to my neighbour. I can’t garden, or sit in the backyard.
Many people feel the coldness of the city, worry about being disconnected, living as a mere fragment, forever lost in a vast sea of humanity. It’s true that I am invisible to most people that pass me by. City folk are usually heads down, staring into phones on the train or buses, or walking on the sidewalk. Their headphones or earbuds are on and they are oblivious, or at least trying to ignore the outside world. Now, I could make the case that the suburbanites sitting in lines of traffic for hours a day, by themselves, listening to podcasts or Spotify, are in fact doing the same thing, so it may just be a matter of perspective.
But there is one consistent characteristic we all share, and that is that we like to watch people. We are all basically nosy. In the city we tend to be more less intrusive, and equally less observable to others. In the suburbs, the small towns and the villages our ability to conduct surveillance is different, it is more focused and one can usually gain greater detail.
If you are a former or current police officer, you are a higher degree of voyeur. If you were operational, you actually did a lot of real surveillance. You often “held the eye”, consumed massive quantities of sunflower seeds (“spitz”), often became bored to the point of exhaustion and you continually fought back that yawning and mind-numbing drowsiness. But you developed some skills. We were in a profession where the statement “mind your own business” didn’t apply, your job was actually minding someone’s business.
Whether living in a city or in the suburbs your ability to surveil is different. When you live in the suburbs, you see your neighbours almost daily, you see them coming and going, you know their cars, you know the children and their ages. Or you may learn that the neighbour on the corner is an old retired couple, who on some weekends get visited by their kids. You observe those young families taking their kids to school or daycare, so you know what time they come home or when they leave for work, you see the lights come on and go off, regular signals of movement within the house. Over time in the suburbs you may venture out, lean over the fence and take an opportune time to nonchalantly introduce yourself to the people you were targeting from behind your curtains. If all goes well you may even meet up at a block party, or your children will play together, or you may be invited over for a bbq or a game night.
That is not what happens in the city. Our surveillance is quit different. Our social activities are usually brief, limited, often with complete strangers, sitting at a bar, at a shared table restaurant, in a dog park, or at the common corner store. We certainly can’t lean over the picket fence and speak to the “targets”. In the city if we do meet others it is likely that we don’t see most of those people ever again. So we have to be faster in observing their mannerisms, their attire, and their overall style. We don’t know what they drive, when they go to work, or whether they have kids unless we ask them. Our communication is taken in short bursts. For some reason I do think we laugh more.
In the city my main observation point (OP for you cop types) is my single large window looking from our apartment across the street or onto the street below. Inside our cubicle or chicken coop apartments where we city dwellers live, the apartments all look the same, the doors and windows very similar, just different numbers on the front of our doors. If we do meet someone up close it is in our building, where we are usually waiting for the elevator. In my four years here I have met my immediate apartment neighbours a handful of times but I can’t tell you their names. The people in my building are all younger than me and they have a greater chance of having a dog or a cat than a child. When you do meet by the elevator, everyone is moving intent on reaching the ground floor. Contrary to some city beliefs, the people in my building are indeed quite friendly. They always hold the door of the elevator for you even though they always seem a little more rushed. In my building you can find every style of dress and diverse or quirky personalities. But there is always an implied acceptance of any lifestyle. There is little time or concern for judgement and rarely is there a discussion of politics.
Which brings me to my “friends” across the way, in the neighbouring high-rise. I see them every day for the most part, because they are eye level to my apartment, directly in my line of vision. It is impossible to look out my window and not look into theirs, so it’s equally impossible not to make observations. Over months and years, it is also virtually impossible not to feel some level of personal connection. I have been in this apartment for a little over four years now and I believe this young couple has been there about the same amount of time. We will never meet, nor will I ever know their names, but I do feel that I know them in a two dimensional way. Seeing them daily is one of the constants in my life and if the curtains are pulled throughout the day, I am pretty sure that they are away. I am equally sure they can also see into my apartment and I am equally exposed. So this invasion of privacy is at least mutual. Everyone knows to close their curtains if they want privacy.
I am guessing of course, but the male “he” in that apartment is in his mid-30s and the female “she” is about the same age. He is prematurely balding, about 5’10”, a gym-going type build, and seems to be always casually well dressed. She is about 5’4″ and of average weight and build, with long curly black hair and also seems to be dressed well. If I had to guess ethnicity I would say he is more Irish/English to her Spanish/Italian look. They are a handsome couple, but I have never been closer to them than the 75′ that separates our two buildings, so facial features are blurred and difficult from that distance. They have a small dog. Their neighbours to their left have a cat.
When you look at their apartment, there are two windows marking two distinct rooms, which is similar to my unit. One room is clearly a bedroom, the other clearly the living room and kitchen. It looks like a nicer apartment than mine, so to some extent I am a little bit jealous. They have the occasional party with friends over and because they have a larger balcony and the people can sit outside, it is not hard to know when they are having that party. I also think the male works from home, as he is always sitting in what appears to be the bedroom, which has been converted to an office, I can tell that because of the book shelves pushed up against the window, and he can often be seen sitting at some sort of desk or computer. This is often at various times, late into the night or early in the morning. I have no idea what she does, but she seems to be often missing during the daytime so maybe she goes into an office. They both smoke, always on the balcony and on one Friday night they seemed to be doing lines of cocaine.
About a year ago, at one such party, there seemed to be markings of a bigger event going on. This time the living room window was filled with glowing large plastic party letters hung in their apartment window. I finally figured out that the letters (backward to me of course) spelling out “Just married”. It wasn’t clear whether they personally just got married or that they may have been having a party for someone who had just gotten married. They didn’t seem quite like the marrying type based on my earlier loose surveillance. But I was happy for them just in case.
A few more months went by when I noticed that this time the curtains had been closed for an extended period of time. I began to wonder if they had sold or moved away. A few days before this it had looked like they had dismantled the book shelving in the work-from-home room, and I saw him vacuuming inside the office room. There was little sign of her on those days, so was it possible that they had split up after such a short marriage? I was then concerned for them.
Another week or so went by and then the curtains opened slightly in the living room and I saw movement in the apartment but the bedroom remained completely curtained off. Initially I did not know if it was the same couple, as whoever it was seemed to be now keeping irregular hours. Sometimes the living room curtains were closed even in the middle of the day, again unusual. One morning though, while I sipped my coffee in the window, listening to the building rush hour traffic, the bedroom curtains opened, the light came on and I could make out what looked like a square piece of furniture with high sides. It was a crib. And it was the same couple inside the room.
Yes, they had had a baby. A short time later, I saw her carrying the baby, trying to rock it to sleep. She was also looking out their window in my direction but clearly preoccupied with her newborn. It was a nice picture. I was relieved and happy for both of them.
As it turns out this periodic surveillance was in the end no more than an observational exercise about life and life’s constant movement. Times ebb and flow, the generations continually cycling and evolving. Although some people leave and move from the city every day, every day there are more lives brought in. Constant movement. It is that movement that makes it a city.
I do wish this couple the best that life can offer and I hope that child becomes someone special and also in turn has a long life. I don’t know anyone’s name in this neighbouring nuclear family, nor will I ever. It’s possible that I may run into them on the street and maybe I will recognize them as they push a stroller along. Our eyes may meet and I will say hi if that happens, and for just that moment there may be some sort of mutual but confused nod of recognition from them as well. And we will all keep walking.
Such is life in the city.
