Hank: Hey there Harry, its been awhile, good to see you (shaking hands and sitting down)

Harry: Hey yah, nice to see you too. Can I get you a coffee, oh, I see you’ve already got one…give me a minute, I will go grab one.

(A pause, then Harry leaves and returns to the table.)

Harry: (as he sits, groaning slightly ) oh geez, feels good to sit down, my legs aren’t what they used to be my friend.

Hank: I hear you, by the time I finish taking my meds in the morning, it’s time for lunch. I spend half my day trying to open pill vials.

Harry: What are you on? I thought you were healthy as a horse.

Hank: Hell no, I am in to that Dr. prescription merry go round, you know the one where you never see them, they just talk to you over the phone..a pill for this, a pill for that…the usual old person problems… blood pressure, sugar levels, you name it they have a pill for it and they are quick to hand them out.

Harry: (laughing) haha me too, this getting old shit is for the birds

Hank: How is everything going anyway, still married?

Harry: Oh yeah, can’t go anywhere now, too much to lose (laughing) it’s too late for me to change course now…

Hank: I hear ya, as you know I split from the old lady a few years ago now, cost me a house. But they say if you haven’t given two houses away in a police career you are doing ok.

Harry: Ya, too bad though…I liked what’s her name..what the hell was her name again?

Hank: Susan

HarrY: Oh yeah Susan. That’s what I mean though, if I left or got kicked out, I would be renting a fifth wheel in a Surrey trailer park, and moving it around every few months to avoid the bill collectors….I actually know a Vancouver cop who did that for a few years. Worked for him though and then he finally he ended up finding a rich girl after flogging those datings sites, and is now living the good life.

Hank: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them as they say…whoever they is

Harry: What are you drinking anyways? I thought you were strictly a black coffee guy?

Hank: Its a flat white

Harry: A what?

Hank: A flat white…fancy name for an expresso with milk. My guts can’t take it anymore..used to drink gallons of it…now, I am on the shitter half the day if I have more than two cups.

Harry: Well at least your bowels are working…but lets get off this medical shit, we sound like we belong in a fucking home..

Hank: You’re right. Let’s change the subject. What do you think of this Surrey nonsense? Have you ever seen such a cluster fuck. They should never have gotten rid of the Mounties.

Harry: Maybe, maybe not, but that all started with McCallum and his hate for the Mounties, remember he was pissed about getting traffic tickets on his street. And he was always calling up the detachment, demanding to see the media guy too for all the bad publicity Surrey was getting in the news. Thought we were reporting too much crime.

Hank: Oh yeah, what was the media guys name?

Harry: I can’t remember, Tim something wasn’t it? Then the media guy went down in a cloud of glory after some sexual nonsense with some female members.

Hank: That’s right…fucking members and women, they never learn…all the women in the sea and they can’t see beyond the office doors.

Harry: Well that’s what just did in the CO, Dwayne baby…dipping his dink in company ink a bunch of years ago…coming back to haunt him now…everybody in the Mounties knows the story, its just not being released to the public. He is the talk of the town.

Hank: I hate to say it but our generation of leaders were always chasing the women. All of these guys, all were being played like violins when it came to women. What did me in was when I saw Paulson handing out cheques for sexual harassment, crying the crocodile tears. Christ, I even heard Dwayne was the front runner for the Surrey Police Service job. I guess that will be out the window.

Harry: I guess so. His buddy Brian Edwards was already in place, it almost looks like they had it all planned out and the plan almost worked. Edwards, MacDonald, and that whole Surrey crew, Manny Mann, Sean Gill I heard they were all partying with Locke on election night. McCallum hated the Mounties and Locke has a crush on them.

Hank: I heard that too. I hear that with MacDonald in the penalty box, Manny is now chomping at the bit to become the head of SPS.

Harry: Its crazy..that group were all campaigning against the SPS, now they are trying to be the head of it. They should bring back Kash Heed (laughing). They’ve already had Wally Oppal sitting on some sort of police board. Old Wally, now there is a guy with nine government lives.

Hank: No Kash wants to be the mayor of Richmond. There is so much of this stuff going on. Look at Adam Palmer, quits VPD and comes over as a Deputy Commissioner to the Mounties. I heard it was MacDonald that brought him over. Palmer I am told wanted to enter politics, and he was going to run in the Liberal riding, the one which they ended up giving to Gregor Robertson. Instead he gets parachuted in to a high rank and is now in charge of recruiting reporting directly to the Commissioner of the RCMP. Morals and principles clearly not very common in this bunch. What do you think it is anyway, the money or the power?

Harry: It has to be ego, all these guys are on easy street already with their pensions. Friggin Lepinski, can you imagine what that firing is going to make him in terms of a settlement.

Hank: Ya, and he was already collecting a few large pension cheques…he has no kids draining his bank account either, he must be a millionaire by now..

Harry: His biggest problem is that he just over estimated how fast that transition was going to take. But he is a politician and he sold it to everyone. Then his second big mistake was that he made an enemy with Locke.

Hank: Ya, did you hear her cover story, saying she didn’t know about the firing, what a crock of shit. I was out of town when it happened she said, sounded like some mafia boss trying to avoid a murder charge for a hit.

Harry: As they say you can’t make this stuff up. Pretty tragic though no matter which way you cut it..and I hear the SPS has other bigger problems now because of their rush to hire all the double dippers they could find. They hired too many cop pensioners all showing up to collect a second cheque, problem is they don’t want to work that hard.

Hank: Plus a lot of them were promised to be sitting behind a desk with their feet up as detectives after their first year or so and now they find themselves working a shift at 45 or 50 years old, not quite as cushy as they imagined it I guess eh

Harry: Hard to feel sorry for them though.

Hank: What a mess though, glad I don’t live in Surrey paying all those extra taxes that are coming.

Harry: Glad I don’t live in Surrey period. I worked in that City too long, could never live there. It’s a weird town and it’s getting bigger and stranger all the time.

Hank: Can you imagine owning a shop up in Guildford and the little pukes shooting out your windows demanding that you give them a cut.

Harry: And supposedly being run by an Indian guy in jail? Are you kidding me?

Hank: The south east asians, I have always said that if they ever got together and got organized they would be running the Lower Mainland. Problem is they can’t decide or agree on who wants to be leader, or how they are going to split the money, so they are all shooting at each other trying to be the number one.

Harry: Geez, better keep your voice down, you are not allowed to say things like that…we are in their home turf now in Tim Hortons.

Hank: (laughing and then whispering ) Ya, ya…I know…

Harry: By the way did you read Kim Bolan lately, about the dirty Surrey member ?

Hank: Soukary. Ya, he was a great one eh. Hardly on the job and he was already dirty, selling information, buying drugs, I think they said he had 13 drug charges. And now VPD has just charged one of their own for fraud, in the millions of dollars.

Harry: But look what happened in the end, Soukary only got 18 months.

Hank: Holy fuck, ya 18 months, that will show him eh?

Harry: Who said crime doesn’t pay.

Hank: Its goddamn depressing what policing has come to lately.

Harry: I hear ya

Hank: Did you see the video footage in North Vancouver, with the mental guy riding on top of the police cruiser, and the female officer driving in circles trying to shake him off…holy shit I laughed…what the hell is going on?

Harry: And before that North Van tasered and shot a guy at the same time while he was sitting in their cruiser trying to drive away… it was a banner couple of weeks for the North Vancouver detachment.

Hank: (laughing) ya, I saw that too…a whole bunch of officers yelling at him and he just casually jumps in their police cruiser, looked like he was eating a snack from the store…

Harry: The IIO will take their time with that one, that file can not come out well

Hank: Doesn’t pay to be a Mountie anymore…actually I take that back, it clearly pays well to be a Mountie now. It pays to be in policing period.

Harry: That’s the problem, they are attracting anyone with a heart beat wanting to play with lights and a siren, make a better than upper middle class income and have what they call a career now.

Hank: yes, we need to bring back the farm boy from Saskatchewan, happy to have a job and not minding scrapping it out once in awhile…

Harry: Not going to happen I’m afraid…new era buddy…we are in a softer and gentler world…diversity and inclusion my friend…

Hank: Oh thats for sure. We are both wrong colour wrong gender now. I just wish I was born thirty years ago and as an indigenous.

Harry: I am just glad I am not in there anymore. I wouldn’t last a week.

Hank: No you wouldn’t (laughing)

Harry: Well, did you want another coffee, do you have time to solve some other world problems?

Hank: No, I have got to go, have to pickup the new girlfriend, she is at Pilates right now.

Harry: Really? New girlfriend eh.

Hank: ya, a retired nurse, but she is still taking the odd nursing shift.

Harry: Nurses, they are as bad as cops. Find a cop find a nurse. What you don’t go to Pilates with her? She must be younger than you I bet.

Hank: Ya, ya, we will see if this one lasts. Not saying much yet. Diane is her name by the way. Are you kidding? Me Pilates. I tried hot yoga once trying to meet a girl, fucking near passed out. They stopped the class to see if I was alright. And she’s only 10 years younger. Still not collecting OAS yet (laughing)

Harry: Ten years eh. Well you could lose a few pounds my friend if you are going to keep up with her. Can’t take Viagra if you are on those blood pressure pills.

Hank: I think I am going on that Ozempic…take a few shots…they tell me it shuts you down so you never want to eat again.

Harry: That sounds like real fun. I think I am going to get that Botox in my arse cheeks instead, round out my shapely ass. Get the wife to pay more attention to me and not just on my birthday.

Hank: I don’t think getting a rounder ass is your biggest problem.

Harry: Besides, I kind of like my food too much for Ozempic, like the taste of it too. Wait a minute, what do you mean you’re going on Ozempic. Last time I knew you to faint at the sight of a needle.

Hank: Ya, that is a bit of the downside. I blame it all on Lululemon, the women are killing us, hard to keep up, they are out their hiking, pilates, yoga, …I think they just are getting ready for their better halves to flatline, get the pension all to themselves and then get themselves another man. And they want to look good for the next one.

Harry: They don’t want another man…another one of us…are you kidding…they just want to get the spoils when they outlive us, and they will. You better watch out, this new younger one may have a plan for you my friend.

Hank: You’re too cynical buddy, love is in the air, but on that note, I will take my leave, good seeing you …want to get together in a couple of weeks?

Harry: You got it. I think I will just sit here and contemplate life awhile, not really in a hurry to get home, the wife will be updating the honey do list right about now. She is into gardening now, so I predict a Home Depot trip this afternoon.

Hank: Suit yourself…I will see ya then

Harry: Ya for sure, see ya next week. Same place same channel.